fbpx

Endings are hard. And I don’t like them.

STORIES

It’s late, I’m bleary-eyed and exhausted, but I felt compelled to write this tonight, when it’s still August 27th in some time zones.

One month from today, on September 27th, Days of You and Me, the third and final book in the Keeping Score Trilogy, will release. The book is finished, has been beta’d and is going through its final stages (fun stuff like dedication, acknowledgements and last minute-tweaks) before it heads off to formatting.

Like a mom reluctant to let go of her final baby as he heads off to college, I find that I’m perhaps dragging my feet a bit. Could I add more here? Explain more here? Elaborate more there? To be completely honest–and I’m too tired to be anything else just now–this book is probably the best-constructed one I’ve ever written. Usually in the weeks after I finish a story, I’m thinking of things I wished I’d added, even if they’re not always in the best interest of the plot. But with Days of You and Me, I’m not doing that. I feel that I’ve given everything to this one.

But I’m still not ready to let it go.

I’ve finished a series before. I remember when I sent off Endless, the final book in The King Quartet, my daughter asked if I were sad to see it end. I answered, “No! I’m done with them. I’ve written everything I have to say about this group of characters.”

(Incidentally, I was wrong, as Tasmyn, Michael and company will be back next April in Age of Aquarius. Stay tuned.)

Since that day, I’ve finished trilogies, but usually, I end up writing more in the same world. The One Trilogy continued in the Always Love books. Neither the Perfect Dish Romances or The Crystal Cove Romances have come to a conclusion yet.

Hmmm. Maybe I don’t like endings.

The Keeping Score Trilogy is different than anything I’ve ever written, and as such, it is precious to me. This story began to take root in my mind back in 2009, although it didn’t hit paper until November of 2010. Back then, it wasn’t what it is now. The characters had different names, and it was intended to be one book. But over the years, as I thought about it, the true plot began to emerge, and Leo, Quinn and Nate came to life in a way I’d never expected. They’ve become more than just characters.

These three have been with me for nearly seven years. They are dear to me. And ending their story was hard. It made me cry, like, a lot. More than I cried writing Joss’s scene in Undeniable. (No spoilers, but yeah, I cried.) See the graphic above: as the Prophet Chuck says, Endings are hard.

Yup. It’s official. I really don’t like endings.

But I’m proud of this book and of this trilogy. It is completely what it was always meant to be: the story of three people, three flawed, normal people, who encountered more than their share of life’s pain and challenges. Or maybe it wasn’t more than their share; perhaps they paid for later happiness with their early heartache. They were friends from birth, and between Leo and Nate, there was always Quinn, who was called on to make hard choices that very nearly broke her heart.

My beta readers have been sending me messages like . . .

OMG, thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for letting me beta read for you. You are such a wonderful story teller. I admit I cried in a few places. 

How am I supposed to beta read if I keep tearing up?

I absolutely loved the book.  There are no other words to describe it than a perfect ending to an amazing love story.

I haven’t had a book make me cry in a really long time, and this one got me 3 times.

So much emotion reading this one. Today at work everyone kept asking me if I was okay my eyes were so swollen from crying.

Gah… I’m crying again. You’re killing me, Smalls… In a fantastic way.

I started reading slower and slower as I felt I was nearing the end, because I wasn’t ready to let go of Mia and Leo. And the epilogue…. What was the line in Steel Magnolias? Something along the line of “laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” My reaction through the epilogue was just like my reaction to M’lynn during the cemetery scene in Steel Magnolias….crying so hard I could barely see, laughter, more tears. Tears of happiness, tears of tenderness, and I’m sad to see the end of the trilogy but looking forward to the spinoffs.

Hey, at least I’m not crying alone. No doubt - endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it-

PS: No, nothing really ends. There will be three spin-offs of this trilogy, three Keeping Score Romances. The first chapters of two of the three are included in DOYAM. 🙂

PPS: Days of You and Me is available for exclusive preorder on iBooks. You can also get a sneak peek chapter there. Check it out on iBooks’ very cool promotion, sitting pretty as the very first book in the same row with, oh, you know . . . Roxanne St. Clair. JD Robb. Susan Mallery. Whatever.

Screenshot 2016-08-28 00.35.18

July Multi-Author Giveaway!

FinishedSummerofReadingGiveaway$100GC
Welcome to the 4th of July Summer of Reading Giveaway!

The authors below are offering up $150 Amazon Gift Card to you can get your read on!

Please check out the books below, some are Free, Free with KU, or Inexpensive.

Young Adult

Awaken3scales cover

New Adult

LovesSecretTorment_Amazon[3]

Sweet Romance

Broken Choices1frontshewillbeloved

Contemporary Romance

12764573_10153649882554145_9175444023325309797_ooverthefenceOMC.EbookTVBM_med (3)

Women’s Fiction

a1424432-000b-4721-bedc-6ba0c81db2ea[1]

Paranormal Romance / Urban Fantasy

eBookCaelum proofnightoftroubleenlightenedcover 300 resolution

Science Fiction

13566113_10209771659548458_558734560_n

Want to win a $150 Amazon Gift Card? Follow the authors in the rafflecopter below for a chance. Open WW 18+ Ends July 20, 2016 @ 11:59 PM EST

a Rafflecopter giveaway

summerGWfinished

It’s Hard to Have Faith on Fridays

{For a long time, I’ve had plans to write a weekly post on faith and what it looks like today. I even set up the category on my site here: Faith on Fridays. I hoped to begin at Advent last year, and then again earlier this year. For a variety of reasons, that didn’t happen. But this morning, I woke up and knew today was the day. 

I am an author, and my site is about that. But I am also a woman of great faith, and not allowing myself to express that in some form is not being true to myself. I don’t force my beliefs on anyone else, and I don’t ask that my readers agree with me. You don’t have to read this weekly post. But I have to write it. I hope you’ll stick with me through it, and perhaps comment and start a dialogue, no matter your background and your own beliefs.}

~~~***~~~

Cross on top of american flag symbolizing memorial day in United States

Last night, I was just about to go to sleep, skimming through social media for one last check before bed. I saw the first posts about a shooting in Dallas. This time, it wasn’t police shooting an unarmed black man; it was police who were being shot during a protest. I stayed up, watching CNN until I couldn’t take it anymore. When I went to sleep, they were saying ten had been shot and two were dead. When I woke up this Friday morning, the numbers had changed; twelve shot, five dead.

It’s hard to have faith on Fridays.

Earlier in the week, I had been sickened and frustrated and angry about the two black men who were shot by police officers–one in Baton Rouge, one in Minnesota. I was horrified. This is America. On Monday we celebrated the anniversary of our freedom, of our proclamation that ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL. All men. All women. Black, white, and every other color in between or beyond. Regardless of sexual identity, gender affiliation, religion, lack of religion and cultural background. All men are created equal. We have defended that peculiar notion for over two hundred years, we have bled for it and our soldiers have died for it. Yet we do not live it out. Not by a long shot.

It’s hard to have faith on Fridays.

My faith is rooted deep, from seeds planted in my childhood, carefully cultivated by so many men and women and books who helped shape what I believe and in Whom I believe. I follow Jesus, who tells us that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. I try my best to make my everyday choices reflect that belief. I know that He is still in charge. I know that He is the ultimate victor. I know who wins this war.

But it’s hard to have faith on Fridays.

Several thousand years ago, on a Friday in Jerusalem, a man of peace, a man of love, Son of God, son of man, of His own free will, gave up His life for me and for you (whether you believe it or accept it or not) in a shameful, horrific death on the cross. He’d been the hope of a generation, beloved of His many followers, and within hours, he was dead, laid in a borrowed tomb.

It’s hard to have faith on Fridays.

If that were the end of the story, then what I believe would be futile. If that were the end of the story, then we could look around our nation and our world and have no reason for hope. If that were the end of the story, we should just give up.

But it’s not the end, because on Sunday, that tomb broke open and Jesus rose again, defeating death.

In the face of pain and horror and devastating loss, communities pull together. We support each other. We love despite differences. We embrace strangers. We march for peace. We hold our legislators accountable for making and enforcing laws that will make our nation safer and stronger, a country where ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL and are treated equitably and with dignity.

It’s hard to have faith on Fridays. But we hold on. We believe for a better day and a better way. We walk in His way, offering compassion and grace and love.

This isn’t the end. Love bats last, and there is not a single doubt in my mind about Who wins.

Keep the faith, even on Fridays.

Running Wild

Last week, I told you about a book I’d just finished, called Big Girls Do It Running by Jasinda Wilder. I’m going to chronicle my journey to get more fit and healthier over the next eight weeks right here, every Wednesday. Wilder Way Wednesday!

In BGDIR, Jasinda challenges us to sign up for a 5K. I laughed a little, because it reminded me of my first ‘real’ running experience.

Running pic 1In 2008, we had been in Florida for about a year. I had gotten involved a little bit with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, as a way to raise money to fight the disease that had killed my parents. At the end of that summer, I was contacted by Team In Training, a part of LLS that organizes teams to participate in races around the country and raise money to benefit LLS. They were putting together a team for the Disney Marathon Weekend, and they wondered if I’d be interested in being part of the half-marathon team.

Now, I wasn’t athletic. Never had been. (I’m STILL not.) I love to WATCH football, baseball, soccer . . . and I’m a decent softball player (my high school friends are probably skeptical, but it’s true!). I grew up a dancer, and I still love to dance. But run? Oh, I think not. My mother had always told me that running wasn’t good for women. She said it shook up our insides and caused problems. I listened and believed.

But now . . . after my parents died, I’d purposed to do something new and challenging every year. InRunning pic 2 2008, I’d snorkeled in the ocean in Maui for the first time ever. 2009 seemed like a good time to try a half-marathon, right? After all, I had almost six months to train. Easy-peasy.

Except I really didn’t train. Oh, I half-heartedly did a few short runs. I walked a lot. But I was busy writing my first novel and homeschooling my kids and dealing with life. Time marched on, and before I knew it, January was upon us. Suddenly, I was terrified: what had I been THINKING? I couldn’t run. I didn’t run. I was going to be the lonely, pathetic person at the end of the race, dragging her heels before the dreaded sweeper bus picked me up. I had nightmares about running pic 3running the race in my heels.

I would love to say I kicked ass in that race. Honestly? I finished it in under 3 hours, and I called that a win. I wasn’t the last by any means, and I even RAN much of it. Not all, but some. There was something about being among runners that made me want to do it, too!

For about a year, I did a bunch of races. I completed two more half-marathons, a couple of 10Ks and a 13K. I didn’t do too much training between times, though. I had a lot of excuses: Florida is hot. Outside training was HOT. I ran on a treadmill at a local gym for a while, but not with any real consistency.

About a year and a half after my first race, I was coming home from a long road trip one day when my knee began to hurt. Not just a passing ache, but a real and deep pain. I ended up at an orthopedist, who told me running was destroying my knees. I didn’t necessarily buy that, but my life was changing at that point, and races were becoming less appealing (and more expensive!). I did my last Disney race that fall and could barely walk afterwards–so I decided my short and illustrious running career was over.

Since then, after a long hiatus, I’ve slowly returned to running. I’ve done some 5Ks with my kids, and earlier this year, I did the Princess 5K with my girls and my sister-in-law and niece. It was fun to be back there, and I actually got my best time ever in a 5K. I don’t need to do half-marathons anymore; I’m perfectly happy to perfect the art of the 5K.

Next Sunday, I’m doing another 5K, and this one I’m counting as the Jasinda challenge race. And I can’t wait! (See the report next Wednesday, or follow me on Facebook and Instagram for more instant news.)

I’m going to be chronicling my journey over these next eight weeks right here, every Wednesday. We’ll call it Wilder Way Wednesday! I’d love to hear if you’re participating, too, and how you’re doing. We’re in this together, right? I’ll be there for you. And I’d love your encouragement!

I’m reading Big Girls Do It Running by Jasinda Wilder

I’ve been posting quite a bit lately about a book I’m reading. It’s called Big Girls Do It Running by Jasinda Wilder, and it’s created a pretty big buzz in the indie community. Jasinda has changed her lifestyle and possibly changed her family’s life.

The book is great, and I’ve enjoyed it. Jasinda tells her story honestly and openly, and she shares what has worked for her, for her family and for her beta team of the Wilder Way. There’s a story, an explanation, a plan and recipes. It’s well-laid out and easy to understand and follow!

But I have had a few people message me and say, “Uhhh . . . why are you reading this book? You’re not heavy. You don’t need to lose weight!” While I appreciate the sentiment, I think this misses the point.  And it’s made me think about my own journey.

(This is long. Sorry, but I’m a storyteller, and this is part of my story.)

Food has never been important to me. I was a picky eater as a kid, and it didn’t improve much as I got older. My mom, a true housewife of the 1970’s, had embraced the convenience food culture, and we rarely saw food that wasn’t pre-packaged or canned or frozen. If it could be made in the microwave, so much the better. I survived on peanut butter and Pop Tarts, mostly, until I went to college, at which point I began to expand my palate. A bit.

But before that happened, I had struggled with an eating disorder while I was in high school. I had never been heavy–okay, I was a chunky baby, and I had a little baby fat until I was four or five. But beyond that, I was pretty average. In high school, though, I had several experiences that caused me to feel out of control in my life, and that resulted in anorexia. I stopped eating, which wasn’t that big a sacrifice anyway. Controlling my weight was a way of controlling my life, or so it seemed.

Happily, I had parents who watched out for me and got me help. I met my husband during my senior year in high school, and he never made me feel anything less than beautiful, smart and fabulous! I eventually had four wonderful children, and even though I gained sixty pounds or more each time, I lost the weight right away. I was almost always on the underweight side of the charts.

To this day, weight is still not my issue. But health is.

I lost both of my parents within a year of each other when they were 63 years old. Both died of blood cancers, even though cancer didn’t run in our family. But it was a wake-up call to me that I needed to be prepared, to keep my body as healthy as possible so that if something happened, if cancer or some other disease struck, I’d be in the best shape to fight it.

We moved to Florida the month after my mother died. We made a whole new circle of friends, and among them were people who had this wild and wacky way of eating. They shared with us their research, their methodology and a way to make it work for us. We embraced whole foods, fruits, veggies . . . crazy things like kefir grains and komboucha. We bought a half a cow to have grass-fed beef. We found out we liked this way of living.

My family has changed its way of eating dramatically over the past eight years. We’ve studied and researched and experimented. We eat as much organic as we can. We prefer vegetables and grass-fed meat. We don’t do processed if we can help it.

We’ve cut back on sugar, replaced much of it with honey–but we haven’t cut it out entirely. And here is one place where Jasinda’s book was another nudge. We know it–but now we need to DO it.

I’ve also noticed that since I’ve become an author, my life is more sedentary. I used to be on my feet almost all the time. Now, I’m at the laptop at least 70% of my day. Exercise happens . . . on occasion. Not as frequently as it should, even though I know how great it makes me feel. I have all the excuses, but I also know the truth. Time to make it happen! (More on THAT next Wednesday!)

 

Monday starts the Wilder Way challenge, and I’m excited. I’ve finished the book, and my family is on board. Some of the changes won’t be that hard for us. Others will be. But we’re doing this as another step on our journey toward better health, taking control of our bodies and choosing a more active way of life.

I’m going to chronicle my journey over these next eight weeks right here, every Wednesday. We’ll call it Wilder Way Wednesday! I’d love to hear if you’re participating, too, and how you’re doing. We’re in this together, right? I’ll be there for you. And I’d love your encouragement!