fbpx

The last time

Never pass a chance to say “I love you” | Sayings, Quotes, Say i love you

We rarely recognize last times when they come.

I’m the mother of four (mostly) grown children, and I couldn’t tell you that I recall the last diaper I changed as a mama, the last time I nursed my youngest, the last time I cuddled a little one who woke up in the middle of the night with a bad dream.

During the course of COVID lockdowns, we were unable to be with so many of our beloved church people, those living in senior centers, and over those months, we lost several to death or to relocating after a spouse’s passing. As I’ve come back to Sunday worship, those losses are all the more poignant because I didn’t know when I saw them last that it was . . . the last. 

Fourteen years ago tonight, I was going through lasts with my mother.

The last time her eyes opened and she knew me.

The last time she spoke to me.

The last instruction she gave me.

The last time she squeezed my hand.

The last decision she made.

We sat in that hospital room at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, and we kept watch. We waited. We were mostly women: my mother’s sisters, her niece, her granddaughters, and her daughters, my sister and me. My cousin and my son were our token guys.

It was my oldest daughter’s prom night. When we knew what was coming–because after months of fighting leukemia and rejection following a stem cell transplant, in the end, it was very sudden–we brought over my four children who ranged from six to eighteen. My husband had been living in Florida for nearly a year ahead of our family’s move there. I hated that the night was ruined for her, but being together, all of us, at the end was important.

When I look back now, fourteen years later, I remember some things very clearly. My daughter, still in her prom gown, had been given a scrub top by a kind nurse who knew that the beading on the strapless dress was chafing her arms. When she went wandering in search of coffee that night, I’m pretty sure patients thought they were having hallucinations. I remember that even in the midst of anticipatory grief, I had to worry about things that had to do with my parents’ estate–my father had died 51 weeks earlier. And I remember the love and care poured out on us by everyone at the hospital and by family and friends all over the world.

When we left the hospital late on the morning of June 2nd, I knew it was the last time. And although I’d hated the circumstances that brought us there for a solid eighteen months–for first one parent and then the other–leaving was hard.

It was an ending.

It was a last.

 

 

Death A La Mode: Folk Music

Putumayo-Presents-American-Folk-cover

 

 

This week’s Pinterest Pick topic for Death A La Mode is Folk Music! Crissy Darwin, local folk music rising star, is at the center of a series of troubling deaths. Can Jackie and Lucas help her out of this mess before the curtain falls?

Pin this image to your own Pinterest boards–and stop by my Pinterest page to repin other fun stuff. Don’t forget to nab the Death A La Mode cover, too!

It’s A Ghoul Thing Teaser

12006379_10207440999484411_981980562715387460_n

 

Coming next week!

The Halloween read you can’t miss.

Eight paranormal short stories by the fabulous authors of Romantic Edge Books! Supernatural and sizzling, this is one set you don’t want to miss.

Masked (A Gwen Sparks short story) by Stephanie Nelson
When Gregory Arthur—a tiger shifter—hires Gwen for Halloween night, she and Dorian must figure out why Gregory’s daughter is haunting his house before the suspected murderer figures them out. But like everything in Gwen’s life, not everything is as it seems. If she’s not careful, she may be the killer’s next victim.

Temporal Tango (Miss Series Short) by C.G. Powell
Since Tango’s birth as a human, his mind has been charmed to forget most of his past. What secrets will be reviled when the spell is broken at midnight on the eve of Veronica’s eighteenth birthday? Immortal life as a cat was not all that it was cracked up to be, and somethings are better left forgotten.

Fire&Ice (A Little Flame Short, #7.5) by Melissa Lummis
Fiamette Jurato isn’t your everyday healer, but even she’s never seen this particular problem before. And it doesn’t help that her patient is a stubborn jackass of a troll. Seriously. A real troll. A spoonful of sugar can’t make the medicine go down when the patient would rather die than swallow his pride.

Moon Dust (The Werevamp Diaries-1) by Olivia Hardin
When Magical And Undead Creatures cross paths with humans, sometimes they get hurt. That’s when Rhiannon, doctor to the paranormal world, steps into action. What she doesn’t expect is to get an urgent call from her secret crush. Risking her life to grant him a favor might not be the smartest decision she’s ever made, but sometimes love means taking chances.

Unforgettable (A Serendipity/Recipe for Death Short) by Tawdra Kandle
When seers at Carruthers Institute sense impending world doom, Cathryn Whitmore sends for her top agents. Their mission could help battle the forces of evil, but it’s also going to sorely test their love for each other–especially when someone from the past makes a surprise appearance.

Curse of the Tolomato Cemetery (Olde City Angels) by Mandie Stevens
Eva and Thomas are used to dealing with things that go bump in the night, but on an unexpected day off, the last thing they expect to encounter are vampire pirates–and Thomas’ old flame.
When the vampires capture that ex-lover, the two must brave a haunted cemetery to stop the quest and save the day.

Disguise (Secrets of the Succubus) by Amanda Latzel
Gisele Green’s lifestyle comes with nice perks–hello, unlimited orgasms–-but on All Hallows’ Eve not even expensive cosmetics can hide the succubus inside. Usually she’d stay hidden from public view, but this year she’s blackmailed into being part of the festivities. With all eyes on her, she must maintain her disguise, or lose the life she loves in the human world.

Knead to Know by Liz Schulte
Maggie Edwards can’t sleep, eat, or die—but she can bake. However, just before the Halloween grand opening of her bakery, a pesky reporter witnesses an accident in her kitchen and gets a little too close to the truth. If she can’t convince him to keep quiet, not only will she lose her chance at happiness, but they both could lose their lives.

Preorder your copy today for only 99 cents!

iBooks/Amazon/Nook/Kobo/Smashwords

And since it’s #TeaserTuesday, here’s a tiny sneak peek at Unforgettable, the Serendipity/Recipe for Death short in It’s A Ghoul Thing. This segment is from Rafe’s point of view.

 

We were both quiet as I unlocked our front door. It was always a relief to me to come home, to this place that Nell and I had made our own sanctuary. It was usually bright, with loads of natural light, and even now, as the sun began to sink lower in the sky, its last beams shot through the skylights.

Nell stood at the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the lake. I came up behind her, sliding my arms beneath hers and pulling her body up against me.

“Beautiful sunset.”

“Hmmm.”

“You’re far away from me.” I eased her black hair out of my way and kissed the white column of her neck.

“I’m thinking.”

“Care to tell me about it?”

“I was wondering about Joss. About what would have happened if she hadn’t died in the forest that day. What if I’d been sent to rescue both of you? What if it’d been three of us in that cabin in the woods?”

“What if I’d never come to King when I was in high school? What if my father had lived? Nell, life is a series of choices mixed in with random shit that happens. You’ll drive yourself crazy if you keep thinking like that.”

“And God knows I’ve already been there.” She meant it as a joke, I knew, but I heard the thread of despondency in her voice.

“You were strong enough to get past what happened in King. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever known, Nell. And I love you.”

“You loved Joss, too.” It was that same careful tone, no accusation. Just a matter-of-fact statement.

“I did.” We’d been through this before. I never denied what I’d felt for Joss. “But what I had with her isn’t what you and I share. We’ve built a life. We’ve made a home.” I turned her around to face me and tipped up her chin with my finger. Storms raged in those ice blue eyes. “Hey. Nell Massler, you are it for me, now and tomorrow and all of my days. If you’d ever say yes, I’d make it official and tell the world that I belong to you.”

“I don’t need a piece of paper to define how I feel.”

“I don’t, either. All I need is you.” I lowered my mouth to cover hers, kissing her with all the depth of passion I felt. When I opened my eyes, hers had quieted into a measure of tranquility, nearly as calm as the still lake outside our windows. “You’re my home. You’re my world. You’re why I’ll do whatever we need to do in order to stop Mallory Jones.”

She buried her face against my chest and nodded. When she spoke, her voice was muffled.

“We’ll stop her together. Whatever it takes.”

“We will.” I rubbed my hand down her back, letting it graze her ass. “But for the rest of tonight, let’s not talk about her, or tomorrow, or anything to do with Carruthers. I’ll order a pizza, we’ll take it to bed, and then I’ll do my damnedest to keep your mind off anything the least bit upsetting.”

Nell sagged against me. “I don’t know. I’m pretty tense. It’d take quite the man to make me forget my problems tonight.”

I kissed her again, my fingers gripped her backside.

“Challenge accepted.”