Why I Stayed

When author Eva Pohler invited me to be part of Book Lovers Unite for World Suicide Prevention Day, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. My regular readers and friends know that suicide prevention is a cause close to my heart. I support organizations like To Write Love on Her Arms that help people choose not to end their lives.

But there are some intensely personal reasons for me to believe in this cause. At three different points in my life, I have seriously considered checking out early. Once was during my high school years, when I was struggling with an eating disorder. The second time was when I was in my early thirties and was facing an incredibly painful personal crisis. And the third time was in the past few years.

I want to say upfront that I am a woman of faith, and that faith has sustained me more than once. I credit my relationship with God and El’s grace with having saved me. But I’m all too aware that the church has not always been understanding and compassionate about mental and emotional struggles. Too often, women and men who needed the most help have been stigmatized as weak, shunned or ridiculed. The very place and people to whom we should want to turn have betrayed us.

It wasn’t the church that made me turn away from the dark. It wasn’t a doctor, although I believe strongly in therapy and counseling. It wasn’t my friends or my family, although they all loved me and hurt for me.

For each of us, where we find the small thread to which we cling is different. Where the light shines through can be varied. For me, the why was different each time. But ultimately, somehow, at the crucial point, hope broke through, and it was bright enough, even if it was only for a moment, to keep me on this side. And when hope came, it spoke to me through a book–a different one every time.

Suicide wasn’t unheard of in my family. I lost an uncle, a cousin and several other extended family to the dark. I remember my father often saying that suicide was a permanent solution to temporary problems, but for those of us who struggle, the problems don’t feel temporary. They feel huge and permanent and insurmountable. It doesn’t feel as though there’s life on the other side.

I remember reading something that changed my life and the way I looked at things. The gist of it was that we can’t always trust how we feel. While I know I should listen to my emotions and tune into them, consider what they might mean, I can’t make decisions based solely on how I feel, because those feelings aren’t reliable. They can be influenced by things like hormones and misunderstandings and whether or not I’ve eaten today.

That realization was a game-changer for me. I don’t mean it should be for everyone, but for me–it made a difference.

A few years ago, I wrote a quartet of books within my series Love in a Small Town. Although each book stands alone, there was an overarching storyline in these four books: the story of Jenna Sutton, who’d attempted suicide in the aftermath of a devastating rebuff. Jenna’s tale was very personal, especially as her story was seen through the eyes of her family, friends and others in her small town. I hope that these books help others, too, who might need to know they are not alone.

Please join us at the event on Tuesday (I’ll be doing a Facebook LIVE there at 6 PM CDT/7 PM EDT) and also check out my video on my YouTube channel (it’ll go up before September 9th).

If you are on the precipice of making a choice right now . . . if you are choosing whether or not to stay . . . please hold onto these truths:

You are important.

Your story isn’t over.

Hope is real.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

You are not alone.

If you need someone to talk to and you don’t want to call a suicide hotline (which is a wonderful resource, by the way), please know that you can message me on Facebook or email me, and I will be there for you.

That’s a promise, and it’s not just for you. Knowing there are people who are counting on me helps me, too, when I’m making one of those decisions.

I’ll stay . . . if you do.

Much love, now and always . . .

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Climate Change, Controversy and the Anti-Cinderella Chronicles

When I began writing The Anti-Cinderella Chronicles, I didn’t know much about the characters. I knew a bit about their history together, about what their future would hold, but as far as interests, careers . . . that was still hazy.

However, I knew from Fifty Frogs that Kyra’s roommate was Vivian’s sister Shelby, and  Shelby was a graduate student at a college in Maine. So that meant Kyra was in Maine, too . . . and it just so happened that my youngest daughter had recently transferred to a college in Maine.

Unity is a young school, established in 1965. It is known as America’s Environmental College, and since my daughter was majoring in sustainable agriculture, it was her dream school. Winning the Jack Kent Cooke scholarship allowed her to realize that dream.

None of us had visited Unity the weekend that we dropped off Cate. But it made enough of an impression on me that I realized something important: both Kyra and Nicky were involved in sustainability in various ways, whether that was food sourcing, agriculture or the over-arching need to redeem our environment.

So that’s how two of my lead characters became activists.

From the beginning, a few readers mentioned this sub-story. For me, it’s important that my characters are well-rounded, with rich histories and deep passions not only for each other but for their talents, their careers or their hobbies. It made perfect sense that if Kyra was pursuing her graduate degree in sustainable ag, she’d have a lot to say on the subject (I might have first-hand knowledge on that!).

All of my books include details and some research into whatever career the characters have chosen. Thus I was a tad surprised that readers seemed to react strongly one way or the other to Kyra and Nicky’s work. And with the release of the latest book, those reactions seemed to ramp up a little more.

So let’s talk about this.

First, we’ll acknowledge the elephant in the room. Yes, I personally  believe that climate change is real, that our planet is hurting and that humans are systematically and definitely destroying our one and only world. That’s something I’ve always acknowledged as truth, even back in the days when I was more conservative politically. I’m a product of the 1970’s, after all, when we were all trying to be more environmentally conscious.

But please keep reading, even if you don’t agree with me.

In addition to my sustainability and environmental beliefs, I also am convinced that climate change and ecological responsibility are not a political topic. Politicians of every stripe have attempted to make them political for their own advantages.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. My daughter and I were talking the other day. She said, “It just doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t take much to make some small changes, and even if you’re skeptical about whether or not climate change is real, it doesn’t hurt anyone to make those changes. Worst case, you’ve left the earth a little bit cleaner.”

Hey, I’m not naive. I understand that some of the changes needed aren’t little ones, and I know that they could impact the bottom line of big companies. If you don’t buy that the science is legit, you’d be loathe to make changes that would cost you some bucks.

And while I find recent studies very credible (and damn scary!), I also don’t believe that all science is right on target. After all, we’ve seen that things are changing all the time. But in this case, all the evidence points to the need for all of us, all over the world, to pull together and do whatever we can to help.

I think it’s important to note something, too. I write romance. Fiction. The books in question don’t claim to be treatises on this topic. They’re entertaining stories about people who came from my imagination. So while you may not agree with the inclusion of touchy subjects, please remember that this is all supposed to be fun.

I promise you, the book contains more couple time than controversy.

One reader asked me whether all of my books from now on would include some element of this ‘controversial’ topic. No. That would be silly and limiting, because not all of my characters are involved in this line of work. Kyra and Nicky are . . . and yes, there may be some of the same in the next book in this world, A Dozen Dreams. But I have 71 other books NOT in the Anti-Cinderella World that don’t even mention climate change or sustainability. Try those!

Will I go back and change things in the existing Anti-Cinderella world to avoid controversy? HELL, no. These are my books. These are characters created in my mind, people who are real to me and whose opinions, actions and emotions sprang from genuine inspiration. They remind me of the real-life people whose work I admire, of my daughter and her passion for growing food in a more sustainable manner, of those who sacrifice much in order to make this world a better place.

Today is World Environment Day. If you are offended by the idea of protecting our earth, if you are not alarmed by the dwindling ability of our planet to support its population, if you are not heartbroken by the growing numbers of extinct or endangered species . . . then maybe today doesn’t matter to you.

But it matters to me. It matters to my children, and it will matter to my sweet grandbaby. And if doesn’t matter to more of us, and soon, the consequences will force our hands.

Happy World Environment Day, y’all. Go hug a tree, plant a flower, turn off lights you don’t need, walk instead of drive, kiss a farmer . . . and hey, read the latest Anti-Cinderella book. Even if you don’t agree with climate change, it’s a dang good love story, and we all need more of those.

 

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More to LOVE in a small town!!

 

Welcome to Burton, a small town just west of Savannah where the men are sexy, the women are sassy and happily-ever-afters are a speciality of the house. 

Meghan Hawthorne is restless and ready for a change. As she begins her final summer of college, Meghan’s looking for excitement and maybe a little romance. Nothing serious; this girl just wants to have fun.

Sam Reynolds doesn’t need excitement, and he doesn’t want romance. Fun is out of the question. He’s been the steady, responsible one since his parents died, and serious is his way of life.

When Sam rescues Meghan alongside a dark Georgia backroad, she falls hard for his deep brown eyes and slow drawl. But making him see a future beyond their summer fling feels downright impossible.

Sam’s tempted by the fiery young artist, even as he realizes that giving into his feelings will mean radical change . . . maybe more than he can handle. But Meghan makes him want to believe in crazy things like forever and happy endings.

He may be the last one she should want. She may be the last one he should need. But no one ever said love was easy.

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Be sure to read all the books in the

Love in a Small Town series

Including TWO New Releases!

Love Me Home and The Meant To Be Girl

are now available everywhere!

 

Tawdra Kandle writes romance, in just about all its forms. She loves unlikely pairings, strong women, sexy guys, hot love scenes and just enough conflict to make it interesting. Her books include new adult and adult contemporary romance; under the pen name Tamara Kendall, she writes paranormal romance, and under the pen name Tessa Kent, she writes erotic romance. Tawdra lives in central Florida with her husband, two sweet pups and too many cats. Assorted grown children and a perfect granddaughter live nearby. And yeah, she rocks purple hair.

You can follow Tawdra on Amazon to receive updates on her releases. You can also visit her website for more information, and subscribe to her newsletter  for sales announcement, special exclusive content and promotions!

If you enjoy Tawdra’s books, join the Naughty Temptresses!

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Celebrating!

Once upon a time, I wrote a book . . . and then I wrote a bunch more. I published my very first book (FEARLESS) on December 6, 2011, about seven and a half years ago.
I remember the feelings I had, the trepidation, the anxiety–and then the inevitable let-down, because honestly, not much changed. I didn’t hit top lists or even sell more than a couple of copies. {Side note: there was good reason for that. I had no idea what I was doing, the cover sucked and I didn’t know from promotion and PR in those days!}
For subsequent releases, I had more realistic expectations. I didn’t wait for accolades and confetti; I did everything I could and hoped for the best, and that’s still been my philosophy.
But I have a confession: from the beginning, from that first book, I wanted the celebration. I wanted my family and friends to be excited for me. This was huge in my world! I wanted to go out to dinner, I wanted to talk with people who’d read the book, I wanted flowers and wine and  . . . well, recognition.
In the years between that debut and now, today, when my 75th book went live, I’ve gotten used to low-key releases. The positive part is that I don’t stress. I don’t worry. I know authors who need Valium to get through each new release day, and I’m glad I don’t. That being said . . .
I still want the celebration.
And that’s why today, this very morning, I had an epiphany. If I want the celebration, by gum, I’m going to make it myself. Today I’m not doing housework or hunkering down to hit my word count. Today, I’m going to treat myself to a leisurely bath. I’m going to read for pleasure. I’m going to eat something delicious for lunch, and when my family comes home, we’re going to have a celebratory dinner (they don’t know this yet).
What’s more, I’m not containing my celebration to only one day. No, sirree! Tomorrow, we’re having a family dinner to recognize that 75 releases is a damn good thing to appreciate. Thursday, I might go get a pedicure. On Friday, I’m taking the whole entire day completely off. And Saturday, I’m going to the beach.
I think that’s one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in my fifties. We have to ask for what we need–and if no one else is going to supply that need, we have to be willing to do it ourselves.
Meanwhile, I want to recognize that YOU my amazing readers always make me feel special, loved, appreciated and yes, celebrated. My Temptresses especially post on release days, share the memes and pictures and tell their friends that they LOVE my books. All of you truly are my joy, and I thank you for that.
So celebrate with me this week. You deserve it, too! Watch on Instagram as I chronicle the celebrations . . . and tell me your favorite ways to mark special occasions. <3

The royal wedding was only the beginning of my happy ending . . .

I’m now a full-fledged member of the royal family. That means all my problems are over, doesn’t it?

Apparently not.

Even though I’m now a princess-by-marriage and a duchess-by-title, I’m still the same Kyra who’s prone to putting her sneaker-clad foot into her mouth.

It’s a good thing Nicky loves me. Our work is thriving and our marriage is strong. Together, we can tackle any challenge. But it’s not until our peaceful existence is threatened that I realize how precious it is.

And they lived happily ever after . . . right?

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The Anti-Cinderella Conquers the World: Sneak Peek!

Releasing May 28th!

The royal wedding was only the beginning of my happy ending . . .

I’m now a full-fledged member of the royal family. That means all my problems are over, doesn’t it?

Apparently not.

Even though I’m now a princess-by-marriage and a duchess-by-title, I’m still the same Kyra who’s prone to putting her sneaker-clad foot into her mouth.

It’s a good thing Nicky loves me. Our work is thriving and our marriage is strong. Together, we can tackle any challenge. But it’s not until our peaceful existence is threatened that I realize how precious it is.

And they lived happily ever after . . . right?

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Enjoy this sneak peek into The Anti-Cinderella Conquers the World!

Later, as we sat at our table eating the salad that my husband had made, I glanced up at him, my brows drawn together.

“Nicky.”

“Hmmm?” He smiled at me, but the expression in his eyes was almost absent-minded, as though he were thinking about something else entirely.

“Do you think we make love too much? Do we use sex to solve our problems? Or to avoid them altogether?”

Nicky choked, coughing violently on the bite of lettuce he’d just taken. Once he could speak again, he shook his head and glared at me. “Where the devil did that come from? My answer, by the way, is hell, no. We don’t have too much sex. I’m pretty sure there’s no such thing.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I was just . . . thinking.” I twisted my napkin between my fingers. “Sometimes I’m a little annoyed with you, or I want to talk about things, and instead, we end up in bed.” I jerked my head back toward the living room. “Or on the sofa, as the case may be.”

“So you feel as though you’re using sex to avoid conversation?” Nicky took a long drink of his water. “Or that somehow, I’m subtly re-directing us down that path, rather than discussing our problems?”

“Well, when you put it that way, not exactly,” I admitted. “I was just musing that we have a lot of sex.”

“And thank God for that,” he replied fervently. “I like that about us. It works for me.”

“I’m hardly complaining, either.” I shrugged. “But I just came home, preoccupied about a situation at work, and instead of telling you all about it, I asked you to, you know.” I rolled my hand. “Do what you did for me.”

“I’d do it again.” Nicky winked, and then his expression faded into something more serious. “Do you want to tell me about whatever happened at work? You know, I’m more than happy to listen to you. Any time.”

I considered. “Not really. It’s probably nothing, just my over-active imagination at play. I think I’m so worried about not doing a good job at Honey Bee, at the prospect of letting down Honey now that my focus is split, that I tend to see problems where none exist.”

“Do you need to cut back on your engagements for the Queen, so that you feel better about your job?” Nicky slid his salad bowl aside and reached for the takeaway containers.

“No.” I shook my head emphatically. “I like doing both. I’m actually not doing badly at juggling both.”

“Okay, then.” He scooped a healthy portion of penne onto his plate. “Here’s my take on everything. We’re newlyweds. Not only that, we’re newlyweds who spent a long time apart during our courtship, because of the whole you-living-in-America deal, while I was here in Britain. So we’re not only expected to be having lots of sex as a couple who are just married, but we’re also making up for lost time.”

I laughed. “All right, then. I feel totally justified now.”

“Plus, sex is an expression of the depth of love I feel for you, Ky. I never want you to doubt that love. I’m male, and it’s my favorite way to show you how much I care.”

“Now that is something I can run with.” I reached across the table and linked my fingers with Nicky’s. “Thank you, sweetheart. I feel much better now.”

He nodded. “Would you feel even better if we followed up this healthy discussion with some vigorous romping in the sheets?”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t hold back the wide grin that curved my lips. “You’re incorrigible, Prince Nicholas.”

My husband waggled his brows at me. “I am, indeed. But that wasn’t a no.”

Digging into my pasta, I heaved a long, happy sigh. “You’re right. It wasn’t a no. It was more like a . . . convince me to say yes.” I paused. “After I enjoy my dinner, that is. And maybe after we cuddle a little and catch up with each other’s days.”

Nicky nodded. “I get it. Priorities.”

As it happened, that night we didn’t, uh, romp in the sheets as my husband had phrased it so eloquently. But we did end the evening wrapped in each other’s arms, content.

And that was perfect bliss, in its own way.

 

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